Day 42, 2024, AYAT - I began to get worse. I developed a cough and they increased my oxygen intake. I was still experiencing tachycardia, a fever of 101.4, and sweating. My white blood count was on the rise as well. Concerned that I had a respiratory infection, they ordered a CT scan but didn’t point to any one issue. They started a couple of antibiotics. Other than that, I was improving overall per the notes of the hospitalist. I vaguely remember this day. I had been holding my breath while we waited to see if my fevers worsened and when they started me on antibiotics I was relieved. They seemed to feel that this was the right course of action and I was happy they were finding answers. This might have been when I started to feel crummy again. I was tired and sleeping more. I also didn’t have a lot of energy. I definitely didn’t have the energy to deal with my naturally curly hair which had partially turned into a rats nest. After bathing one day I had asked a very kind charge nurse to braid my unruly curly hair. If I didn’t keep my hair tamed it would strangle me while I slept. I didn’t have the strength to brush it so while it was wet she braided it. I left it that way for about a week. Then the braid had started to cause pain on my scalp so I undid it and twisted it up. This was a bad idea. My hair worked itself into the fattest dreadlock about 7 inches by 4 inches. Not all of my hair was included, just the tuff on the top and it was a crazy mess. When I realized it was there I started to complain about my appearance claiming I looked like I had been electrocuted. My sweet nurse K, helped cut it out. I remember feeling defeated and embarrassed as she snipped tiny pieces of hair trying to free me from the tangled birds nest that sat on top of my head. I had spent the last 6 years growing out my hair only to have to cut a lot of it off. Before the surgery, it had been down to my waist and here we were removing a lot of it. Curly hair likes to break and it took a lot of babying to get it that long. I know it’s vanity but some of a woman’s beauty comes from her hair. Looking back I didn’t realize that that was just the start. Septic Shock patients can lose 60% to 90% of their hair and so did mine. 90% just fell out about 3 months after the initial infection. Daily clumps of it lined the shower floor and eventually, I became curious about the condition of my head. I took a mirror and positioned it so I could see the back of my head. Bad idea! I looked like I was a 90-year-old woman who was balding. Instantly I broke out in tears. I had just had it colored, something I had been doing for years, and it was all gone. The few straggly pieces I had left reminded me of the comb-overs that cover just enough to give the illusion of hair but when you look closer you can clearly see the scalp. I was embarrassed and devastated. I know it was just hair but it was going to take a lot to get it back to what it was, or even feel like it was long enough to cover my head without feeling awkward. I began wearing a cover and looked into wigs. This was a very frustrating search as all of the great ones were thousands of dollars. The ones I was willing to try made my head feel funny and I hated the way they looked on me. I eventually decided that wigs wouldn’t work and I could either wear my head coverings and wait or let the world see my naked head. I opted to cover it, which I still wear today because it’s only grown out about 4 inches. The 10% that didn’t fall out is about 8 inches and they help cover just enough of my head to allow me to wear clip-in extensions. I love how I feel in them and instantly had hair that was 24” long. However, the naturally curly, unruly hair growth does not sit down right and most of the time I look like I am competing for the biggest hair in Texas competitions. A compromise has been achieved and I can stand to look at my hair again. Hair covering for everyday style and hair covering plus extensions when I want to feel my best.
Today: I had an event that called for hair covering plus my extensions. Pictures below. The first is with my cover plus extensions and the second is once I got home and took the covering off. No pictures of the Biggest Hair competition, however. Maybe someday but not today. The event was 2 hours away and it was earlier than when I get up most days but it was so fun to see family. I did pull the eject button once I got home and all of that hair is now safely in a drawer. I can only look this good for short bursts. Too much of a good thing isn’t good!
