Day 37, AYAT - Emotional and Frustrated were used to describe my mood that day. I don’t remember being overly frustrated at any one time. I realized that there was a process but maybe that day I was more than vocal about my discomfort or I was really tired. I know I was especially tired of the fevers and the night before I had had a 102.4. I know that one hurt. I could feel them coming on and I would shake from head to toe. I also remember working with the nurse to cover me up including my head and allow the fever to do what ever it was supposed to do. When the fevers broke the shakes would go away and I would be really hungry.
In the notes they listed a pulmonary specialist and I don’t remember him being listed before. They might have brought him in because of the PE. I do see a note that Pulmonary was signing off on another drainage procedure but I do not think they put another one in. I think it was too risky. I also received a blood transfusion that day. I believe this was my third one since being hospitalized. I am so thankful for those that donate, please donate if you can! My white blood count had gone up again but that could have been from the procedure.
I do see a note that I was having a lot of issues with my anxiety and one of the best PA’s had visited me that day. She was very kind about my situation. I also remember talking with one of the best charge nurses and she approved a visit from my service dog. Seeing her was the best medicine I could have had for the soul that day. I felt so disconnected from my home and she was a part of my daily life. Being away from my home, husband, and animals was so isolating. I stopped feeling like a person and somehow because a test subject. Each time I had a visit from my family, I felt like I could go on one more day. I felt connected to the outside world instead of a cellmate where I could clearly to this day describe all four walls in detail. When the physicians, nurses, or anyone for that matter, shared with me a story or something that was going on in their lives, I lived vicariously through their words. For a moment, I wasn’t a patient, I was a person sharing common life events and I was able to escape the cell. I still remember those stories.
Today: I dropped off a project I had completed for a lady that needed a pad cover for a seat cushion that she uses on her horse sadle. Someone referred to me as the seamstress and I really liked that label. I wear many labels, artist, wife, daughter, friend and this one brought me some joy. Sewing has been passed down from generation to generation in my family. I learned it from my mother and grandmother. I have been sewing since I was seven and over the years have taught others to sew. It is kind of becoming a lost art. Hopefully it makes a comeback. The weather is starting to turn cold. I cannot wait for the snow!!!! I know, fall has just began but if you are at all familiar with Colorado, you know snow can come at any time and where I live, it will come sooner than later.
Pic: Joy of winter! Wishful thinking….
