Day 48, AYAT - I woke up with a headache, which I hardly ever experienced. If I wake up with a headache, it’s normally from the muscle spasms I get in my shoulder. They hurt like crazy and take me out for most of the day. I think we eventually figured out that this one was due to an oxygen issue at night but I cannot remember for sure. I know I was in a good amount of pain for it to be a thing I bring up. The rest of the stats were going in the right direction except I was getting low on red blood cells. I don’t remember anything else from the day and I am not seeing anything from my notes to jog my memory. A lot of my time at the hospital was a blur. Once I got into a routine, things were easier to manage but other than the normal, eat, see doctors, specialists, nurses, PT/OT, family, and necessities, most of it was a blur. I did get into a few shows such as cooking competitions and Shark Tank. They were mostly reruns because I had seen some of the products on the market. Sometimes the sharks were funny but sometimes they were.. well… you know… Sharks. These people have a lot of nerve going up against a Shark. I would clumsily tell jokes and talk my way out of negotiations because of the nerves! Luckily, I haven’t invented anything that needs funding! I know there is a collective sigh of relief from the Sharks, no one-liner puns for you my friends!
Today I spent almost my entire day on the phone tracking down insurance information, what is covered, what is out of network… Oh look, the insurance billed that as out of network, not in network. I have looked over a lot of my bills from my time in the hospital and wow, all I can say is I am thankful for insurance. Some of the current artworks I am doing reference the cost of medicine and I can understand why people file medical bankruptcy from medical issues alone. I am getting closer to starting some of the major projects but I am taking a little break. This last project took it out of me. I am trying to figure out why it was so emotionally taxing. As an artist, my favorite mental place to be is in my head and then seeing my project come to life. My next favorite is seeing someone interact with the piece. I honestly couldn’t care less if they like it, I am more concerned with if they get it. They could hate it and I would sleep just fine. This project took a lot of my mental bandwidth and I am searching as to the reason. It has been a while since I made something to this extent but I think it also has something to do with the mental journey I went on to make it. All of the memories, interactions, emotions, and fears were revisited through this piece. I also focused on topics that were near and dear to my heart while making art focusing on very new subjects. I think I am learning to do art a different way, a stronger way and that’s a lot right now. I love it!
Special note: October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Not only did I have a major scare when I was 23 that required surgery but I have had two friends in the last 2 years get breast cancer. I am currently raising awareness by competing to be on the cover of a magazine. If you find it in your heart to vote, please do so. All proceeds go to the foundation. https://votefab40.com/2024/marie-williams-3?fbclid=IwY2xjawF_9FpleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHcFJn0MebpeeOM0p3VQdGI8AZNccOFu6EOGNYRwV6fn5gn9xcBNzBnBKvQ_aem__N3hMy7J-gUbQUZGgMGqEg
Pic: Breast Cancer Awareness.
