Day 6, AYAT, A big reason I am going through my medical records from last year is because I cannot remember them happening. I am missing 12 days which in some ways is a huge blessing. I don't remember being scared, or in pain, or having troubles breathing. I was having issues with all of that and my kidneys. Multiple doctors were seeing me, measuring fluids, input, output. Taking one day at a time to understand what was going on, has helped me gain a better understanding of the time that was "lost." Today, I have been working on my future. I am making some great changes and I am excited to see where life takes me. Here is one of my images created with AI. I had many dreams while I was sick and this image references one of them. In this dream I am with my dear husband and we are running away on a path into darkness. Only the moon provides light, however nothing seems right. The dream goes on for a while and I have made other images to go along with this one. In total I had over 21 dreams that I can clearly recount. This is something I have never been able to do with dreams. Must have been all of the drugs... Or delirium.
September 5, 2024
Today is day five. From the medical records and the recounting of my husband, I was starting to feel bad and they sent me for a CT scan. The scan did not show a problem yet. I was in pain and was feeling crummy. My husband was concerned and the medical staff was concerned enough to do a CT scan. I know it didn't show a problem yet but I am thankful that they listened. They were working to help me. Everyone was. Today my sweet Penny died. She was my Naked neck silky who was extremely tiny. She was the baby I had on my phone during my hospital stay. I am morning her and in remembrance of all the joy she brought me, Chris and I are going to incubate her eggs to see if we can have some of her babies. Its a long shot but we are going to try. I am also working on moving forward in my artistic practice and making something very special for a great generous person who has been a pivotal person in this journey.
Picture is of my Penny. I love you sweet girl. Thank you for giving me so many smiles.
September 4, 2024
Day 4, AYAT From the medical records, things started taking a turn for the worse. My kidneys and heart were having issues. By this time, I was genuinely feeling crummy. However, the CT scan wasn’t showing the problem yet. Every day, I am looking back, trying to be present today, but also reclaiming those days that I lost. So today as Fall starts knocking on our door. I am reminded of a question someone asked me recently. Someone asked me why are my two favorite holidays, Thanksgiving and Christmas? In the moment, I answered something ridiculous like “food.” But in reality, it has more to do with all of the good things fall brings. I love the changing of the seasons as the leaves look so pretty I also love the cool air. But none of that would really matter if it weren’t for the fact that everyone starts trying to be a little bit more kind to each other. There’s so much cruelty in the world that even just a little bit of kindness goes along way. Today my post is to encourage people to be kind and find a way to pass it along.
September 3, 2024
Today is day three and one year ago I was doing well. I was progressing and was told that I ate a grilled cheese sandwich. So today Maybe I’ll have a grilled cheese for dinner to celebrate.
September 2, 2024
Day 2, A year ago today (AYAT) would’ve been day two. I have absolutely no memory of this day. From text messages and recounts from my Husband, Family and friends I was doing OK. Yes, I was in pain, but my body was feeling better than the previous day. It has been very important to me to live every day completely and be present. Today I’m reading a book and spending time with my little one that has had an upset tummy. She has been there every second since the day I picked her up.
September 1, 2024
Today marks one year since my life completely changed. I’m so thankful for this journey and the people that have been supportive and helped me through all of this. Hug your loved ones and make sure they know that they are loved. Live every day as if it was your last. Celebrate the good and learned from the bad. Just make sure that every day you make it count! Even if that is just enjoying a piece of cake.
-Pic of cake not mine.
